A New Dawn: Chapter 3

3. Hail the Queen


The dawning of what we called Era #1 was sad and bloody

we lost many friends and family those days to beyond-the-wall

beyond-the-wall is a new term people use for everything

the feeling of love and attachment to what we still have

there is no more sex in our society except when it’s illicit

I believed in The Queen like we all did when we turned away

we showed our backs to the eaters knowing they were gone

if we stopped believing in them they’d go away from us

so we focus on some of those I’ve seen outside the Mall Palace

pleading wailers and bleeding aborters is all they are anyway

that’s what they said but I’ve been down there before and I know

the truth of the suffering holdouts and the hope they have

the hope that we could come together new from the rubble

I have the same hope but I know the future in what I will do

Era #1 must crash to an end like the Second World War

and we will parade the Queen’s Head around and into the fire.


I must do it out in the courtyard so everyone can see

at the Year 6 celebration whenever that is I will stab her

day and night’s difference means nothing to us anymore

we are off the calendar now as the Queen dictates the date

dawn and dusk are both dead is something we say now

“Just like everyone else!” is a chant often raised in taverns

Civilization’s over and everyone’s already dead so what?

this is symbolized by question marks in every sad alley

Angelica tells us it’s time for the dawning of Year 6!

she opens the liquor stores to a great rush of people

but less great than expected and horror drapes her face

for as she turns to me a shiv goes into her stomach

the crowd gasps and tries to erupt but no one is sad or mad

the multitude move as a great whooshing gust of flesh

so I raise my reddened hand holding a blade above the crowd

“SHE’S DEAD!” screaming and expecting a rousing cheer

instead the silence was stark as it set out over the shuffling mass.

the rousing cheer I’d inspired was angry and had a plan

I smile and welcome the dawning of a new day again


Chapter 1

Chapter 2

A New Dawn: Chapter 3

A New Dawn: Chapter 2

The Holdouts

Day 534:

This is my first entry in five months, and now we have almost the whole town back, the commercial district anyway, but life is more hell now than ever.  We finished the whiskey two days ago, and I still drink to blackout nightly, but now I have to use gin to do it.  I hate gin, but if I get smashed on beer I piss myself, and the mash liquor we make tastes like bile.

We watched The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly last night in the cineplex and everyone dug the bridge scene where civil war guy talks about liquor.  When he says something like “in this bottle is the warrior’s courage,” everyone cheered and smashed bottles on the ground, which is all we do since we ran out of bullets.

Everyone still carries guns around, but it’s been more than a year since the last bullet was fired.  We used to shoot them in the air for any reason.  Angelica used to tell us to fire our guns as much as we wanted at noon on the dot.  She said that this “Aggressive ritual” was necessary for our survival.  Of course our bullets ran out in months, except Angelica’s.  She’s got a cache of guns and bullets, and that’s one of the ways she controls us now.

So we smash bottles on the ground instead.  Now there’s glass on the ground everywhere.  My feet get so hot in my heavy boots from wearing them all day, but it’s important.

She always says freedom is the most important thing, but lately I’ve been wondering about our freedom?  Maybe we could reach out, with radio or something, and we could talk to other survivors.  Angelica says there are no other survivors, but how would she know?

Maybe we should look behind the wall again.  We should be having group discussions about this at least, but Angelica told us that meeting in groups was an indication of insanity and suicidal ideation.  My friend, Judith Fairbanks “committed suicide” by opening her mouth and driving it down on to a butcher knife as hard as he could.  She beat herself severely before this, they said.

It’s ridiculous, and I can tell from the expressions on people’s faces that they know it’s ridiculous, Angelica killed her.  It feels good to write it down.  Angelica killed Judith.

I’ve heard people deify Angelica.  They talk about how she watches them while they sleep and sees them when they wake up.  I don’t think she has any power.  I think she’s mad.

I’m hearing the words “sedition” and “insurrection” spoken in the streets almost daily.  I don’t think it’s coming yet though.  Most of the time when I hear these words spoken, they’re whispered.

I have so little faith nowadays, in anything.  I don’t believe in myself or anyone else.  I don’t think we should have sent the children away, things have gotten grim since then.

No one knows where they went, and most of them were dead anyway.  We’re all dead.  I have to remember to keep saying that; it doesn’t matter because we’re all dead already.  We all saw what we’ve done to make it to this point, we all know.  So why do we need to keep going down that path?

I’ve washed my eyes with clean water and I can see that Angelica must be stopped.

Say this and then step on a crate.  Russel said he has a megaphone that works, so maybe I can trade him something.  Russel likes downers, so wrap him a package.  Then stand on a balcony with a megaphone and yell the truth to people.

Angelica has kept us afraid of her for long enough!  We have suffered and we have died, and things are getting worse daily!  Do you know that tonight Angelica is eating well?  She says she lives with us but she knows nothing of the world we live in.  Many have cried that we need to storm the mall offices, take Angelica prisoner, and put her on trial.  Many voices are calling for revolution, but I think there is another way.

Perhaps human society is nothing but a chain of dynasties and rebellions, but we are a survivor society, we need each other.  We will take Angelica prisoner, do her no harm, and negotiate a peace.

1. All free persons deserve to be treated with respect.

2. Our existence is not contingent on the providence of anyone else.

3. We will mourn our dead family and lost loved ones, even if they were cowards in the end.

4. We will never stop trying to contact other people, and we demand the use of all available resources in order to do so.

5. We will create a court that will hear grievances, the decisions of which will be made by an elected congress.

Possible committee members:  Kelly, Robert, Samantha, Roberta

I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care

They are coming now.  They will soon find me and kill me eventually.  None of this will matter, it won’t matter that I’ve written some of it down, no one will ever read this.  I am leaving this message somewhere it will never be discovered.  If you discover it, congratulations, none of this means anything at all.


A New Dawn: Chapter 1:




A New Dawn: Chapter 2

A New Dawn: Chapter 1

Volume 1:

Black Friday

I woke today to hordes charging the mall fortress

clawing at walls and breaking windows teeth first

getting at the sweet moist meat as it screamed “they got in!”

we called it rage disease and imagined a possible antidote

we might have developed a vaccine but it was too late


two weeks of peace before hell broke and came to roost

and now we’re passing out reloading and scribbling desperation

empty soul cages come and come In waves to the barrier

introduced with a thick wet thud and then the scraping

we found a stash of tranquilizers but sleep is dangerously sad


filled with the screams inside and out of each of us

and I don’t care that the laughter’s gone I have nothing

I saw my wife eat my child so I shot her in the head

in my son’s crib was only a dark red squishing

look in the mirror and scream what the difference is


I decided to blow it up and send everyone home at once

but there’s no way so I sunk and wept a river for everyone

can’t even do myself staring down a rifle barrel screaming

saying they need me but I’ll be dead soon and so will they

everyone is dead when they’re born and alive when they die


we created hilarious irony when when we did whatever we did

probably an environmental cause they all said when it began

whatever we did to make these things we should let them eat us

that would be a fitting punishment for whatever it was we did

but we have to survive so I pick a post and stand watch


in academic reference books it will have a term henceforth

“Disciplinary Injury” is what they call self-castration

if you’re turned on by a zombie then it all must come off





A puddle of tears on the ground I looked up into the sky

The sun hurt my eyes so I buried them in the floor

“my family’s dead too” a deep female voice utters above

Angelica is a survivor like me sitting in the dirt to my left

“they died before the zombies came in a house fire”


I said “lucky bitch” because I didn’t need to hear that

pouring her tragedy over me when I have my own to admire

then she stunned me with her eyes and asked “wanna fuck?”


“no” because I’m not the guy and you’re not the girl for it


“so you’re staying loyal to a shadow” she said and smiled


“I can still see her holding my son” I lied without knowing why

I can still see them but then Angelica got up to walk away

I said “wait” and noticed tears streaming down my face


Day 205 and hell started to feel just like home

Angelica’s a fixture in my life now of love and comfort

her eyes are a kind grandmother’s because she is one

her husband and children and grandchildren are all dead


swept away in a fire years earlier her tears have scabbed

she is a pillar of strength in all the wailing masses

I will never forget my wife but I am in love with Angelica

I love her strength and her beauty and the flow of her body


end-of-the-world sex is exhilarating and enlivening

I really should write a book about it but I never will


no one talks about fictitious ambitions anymore

art was the first casualty of the new way of life

art takes time and there’s not enough time anymore

all there is to do now is to live and fuck and die




we the survivors of the end call ourselves holdouts

holdouts tell themselves life is a choice they’ve made

life is a choice and not at all an easy one anymore


suicides are a normal every day kinda thing now

all who kill themselves are thrown to the zombies

lowered from the wall slowly and eaten as they go


we call them cowards and we hate their bones

they die without honor and are afforded no dignity

our leader Angelica pisses and spits on their bodies


she is our pillar of strength and our master of destiny

our struggle is aimed to a pinpoint by her vision

we will demolish the old and introduce the new


and I will stay by her side through the rebuilding

my role is tertiary and I hold no real influence

I will be privy to the birth of a survivor society

A New Dawn: Chapter 1